This week's collection of whimsical and curious stories is inspired by the two major parliamentary elections that just took place in Canada and Germany respectively. Neither of these elections yielded a particularly strong mandate to any one party but rather than dwelling on the complications of forming stable governments, we will consider political parties that never even got close to political power.
Why so serious - We will start our very short (and incomplete) list of great political parties in a country that has turned being neat and organized into an art form: Switzerland:
The Dear, Very Very Dear Party (Die liebe, sehr sehr liebe Partei - DLSSLP) - If you are Swiss and want your country to "turn into a technicoloured land of love", you will be able to vote for this party in the upcoming elections. In addition to airy slogans, this political party also brings a number of concrete (and dare I say reasonable) demands to the table, including:
Criminalizing the use of cell phones on Sundays
Offering "twerking" as optional subject in all high schools
Mandating that Nestle has to pay all of Switzerland's dental bills
The Union of Conscientiously Work-Shy Elements (Sammenslutning af Bevidst Arbejdssky Elementer) - The Nordic countries have a hard-earned reputation for providing its citizens with endless holidays among beautiful fjords surrounded by singing trolls (not the internet variety!). And so it comes as no surprise that this party was founded in Denmark (in 1979). It was also moderately successful earning its founder (Jacob Haugaard) a seat in parliament. This might partially be explained by the party's stated goals:
Tail winds on all cycle paths
More Renaissance furniture in IKEA
More bread for the ducks in parks (this promise was actually fulfilled during Jacob's term)
The Party of Moderate Progress Within the Bounds of the Law (Strana Mírného Pokroku v Mezích Zákona - SMPVMZ) - The history of this party is arguably worth an entire edition of this newsletter all on its own but I will leave you with the cliff notes for today. It was founded in the late stages of the Austro-Hungarian empire (1904) in a restaurant in Prague by party leader (and satirist) Jaroslav Hašek. It was a direct response to the Czech Social Democratic Party propagating a rather timid "Evolution, not Revolution". The party platform notably included:
Handing pocket aquariums to every voter
Institutionalizing feeble-minded MPs
Reintroducing the inquisition
I leave you with a quote from our Danish friends: "Work? We can't be bothered. That's what we have the Germans for!"
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