After an unplanned three-month hiatus, your author is glad to be back in print. To celebrate the occasion, today's story will take a closer look at one of Ontario's most eccentric practical jokers, Charles Vance Millar.
Trained as lawyer in late 19th century Toronto, Charles wasn't a man to indulge in quick punch lines but rather liked to take a very long view to his pranks. So long in fact, that some of his jokes did not play out until after his death. You see, when Charles wrote his will in 1921, he had amassed a considerable fortune but no immediate family to bequeath it to. When he passed away five years later, the executor of his will set in motion a series of events that well deserve to be remembered by this newsletter. Specifically, his will stipulated that:
Joint lifetime tenancy of his vacation home in Jamaica was granted to three men known to hate each other
His shares of O’Keefe Brewery Company stock was left to Protestant ministers as well as every Orange Lodge in Toronto under the condition that each had to participate in managing the company. O’Keefe Brewery was, of course, an Irish Catholic business, and its new owners staunchly opposed to drinking (and, of course, took a dim view towards Irish Republicanism)
His shares of Ontario Jockey Club stock were given to two anti-horse racing advocates so long as they remained shareholders for at least three years
However, there was one additional provision which created mayhem and misery rather than much levity. Charles wanted to bequest most of the remaining value of his estate to any woman who could prove to have given birth to the greatest number of children within 10 years of his death. The ensuing "Stork Derby" (as it was dubbed by the press) resulted in many court cases (and likely higher infant and maternal mortality). The equivalent of CAD $10M in today’s money was finally paid out to four women who each had nine children. Tellingly, if you read the below newspaper excerpt, it is their husbands who receive more page space.
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